Let's talk about dating between a man and a transwoman.

Let's talk about dating between a man and a transwoman.

It was a little over two years ago when I began taking part in dating sites. I had been interested in men for a couple of years prior so with the help of a girlfriend I started to play around with dating sites. I would get lots of hits but not too many messages. Lots of winks and flirts and icebreakers and such but nothing solid. It wasn't until I joined a trans dating site that I began receiving messages. After about 3 months on the trans site one guy and I hit it off and we actually started dating. It lasted for about 4 months and it was very nice. He finally moved on to a genetic woman and we still do keep in touch now and then. he taught me a lot about men who date transwomen. He told me that there are many men out there who are dying to date transwomen but they are afraid. I asked him why are they afraid and he said "Deja, remember how scared you were when you first started wearing women's clothes in public? Well, that's how scared these men are who want to date you!". I then understood the level of fear that these men have.

He went on to say that these men really are very interested in dating us girls but this is all new to them and confusing and exciting and scary at the same time. I can understand those feelings since that's exactly how i felt when I first going out enfemme in public. Being with a trans girl is terrifying and wonderful for them. They are scared to death about running into someone who knows them just as I was in my early days. If they are "caught" by a friend, a family member or a coworker they might be approached with the very politically incorrect questions "Why are you dating this person? Why don't you date a real girl?"...Owwww!!!!!

Tonight I had a coffee date with a man who sought me outside of any dating venues. This man tracked me down through the trans column that I write for a local monthly. We chatted on the phone and set up a date within a couple of phone calls. Between yesterday and today he called me four or five times, the last time being just a little more than the hour in which we would meet. I was at the public meeting place that we agreed upon and about five minutes passed the time we were to meet he called me. He was very nice and very scared. He could not bring himself to come to the meeting place to see me. He admitted to being very nervous. After a few minutes on the phone we agreed to meet with each of us in our respective cars. We chatted for about 10 minutes and then he said that he had to get going. He was obviously nervous but at the same time very happy that he was talking to me. He apologized several times during our conversations then he abruptly left saying goodbye and thanks and we'll do this again as his car was moving. I just sat there watching his car drive away. I was in total shock at this point....

So I had a 25 minute date today...Not quite what I expected but I guess it is what it is...

This coming Saturday I am supposed to go on a date with anothe man whom I met on the trans dating site. He was slow but steady at first with his emails but when I expressed interest he opened up and I thought that this will be great! He lives a couple of hours away from me and I picked out the town that we would meet in and he was to pick out the restaurant. He has not written me in over a week. I have written him three timesun that same period. Methinks that theis guy is now getting cold feet. I'm not totally sure yet but I felt it before tonight's 25 minute date with the other guy.

So at beginning of this week I had not one, but two dates lined up! The first one fizzled and now the second one has a good chance of not even happening.....What's the problem?....The answer is that these men are scared and nervous about dating me, atranswoman. I'm not sure how this plays ourt for them but for me it is frustrating. I guess that I have to be patient and keep on waiting for that brave soul who is not nervous and will gladly date me as my first man did. As for the men who want to date me but are too scared I don't know what to say to make them feel more secure. I think that it's something that they have to work out themselves from within. Until then I guess that I will just have to wait.