"Pride Thoughts and Trans Life Thoughts"

June, 28, 2009 was the New York City Pride parade 2009. It was the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots which jolted the Gay movement. We've come a long way since June 1969 but we still have a ways to go.

I've always loved the Pride parades and I go to as many of them as I can. This year I marched in Northampton, Massachusetts, Boston, Massachusetts and now New York City. These were all great events and I always cherish being a marcher in all of them.

I have trouble with understanding why others don't like to march in Pride parades. I think they are wonderful reminders of how we have grown from the painful, confusing, shameful, suppressing closets to being open and free and living life as we really should have from the beginning. It is such a joyous occasion to march in a parade and shout "I am who I am and I am proud of myself!!!" To see others feeling the same thing is a wonderful experience! It is sooo empowering and it gives me sooo much peace in my soul. I love these feelings and I look forward to them every time I march.

But not everyone shares my enthusiasm in marching in Pride parades. I guess that I have to accept that we are all different and that expressing joy in a parade is not even on the minds of most of the Transgender community. I find that curious and rather sad...

I try to figure out and understand the reasons that most Trans do not march. I know that some folks are trying to live in stealth and don't even want to be connected with us who are open and proud. I know that some folks are disabled and there's no way that they can march. I know that some folks are just plain shy and they do not want to be in the "public eye". I also know that some Trans do not want to be associated with Gays because of either being scared of being labelled Gay themselves or that they don't trust the Gays politically. There are some of the reasons that I think I've figured out. I'm sure there are more...

Whatever the reason(s), i wonder if these aforementioned people feel good about themselves and proud of being who they are? I realize that you don't need a Pride to feel good about yourself but let me tell you, it definitely helps! All through the parades the themes of "Be yourself", "Be Proud", "Be at peace with yourself" and other themes are shared by everyone in the parade and all the spectators of the parade. It's just a great sense of a huge, positive community!!!

I also like to march to show others what Trans looks like. Face it, most of us are in the closet so the only references we get are crazy talk shows and scary movies and arrest stories that the press uses for "sideshow" purposes to sell their papers.

But when they see us in the parade then they may realize that we are all not crazy and unbalanced, or psychotic killers or crazy criminals who were arrested while "dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex." They can see that we are everyday, normal, boring people just like everyone else!

Besides the Pride parades I also live openly as Trans. I believe that this helps our cause by showing that I am a neighbor, a coworker, a family member, a friend, a community member, a real person with real wants and needs. This will help non Transpeeps to understand us a little better and back us when we ask for the same rights everyone else has.

I know that it is not easy to live openly. I live it. The stares, the wrong pronouns, the refusal to accept us, the refusal to respect us and ultimately, us being marginalized... But who said life was ever fair? We have to meet these challenges every day and show the world that we are real, decent human beings and that we are just as much a part of this world as anyone!

So I live openly. I march in Pride parades. I want to change the world but I realize that it starts with small steps at a time before we are accepted as "normal" into society. I know that we will get there but as I stated before, we still have a long ways to go.